Changes

It's been something that I've thought about for quite a while now - the need to make a career change. I haven't felt satisfied, fulfilled or completely challenged professionally and have been contemplating my next move for too long. Thinking about making a change and actually making a change are very different things, however. Sometimes, although it feels right to make a change, the timing isn't quite right.

Last week, the timing was right. The 'special' project that seemed to be all but a done deal was pulled out from under me, while my current role had already been filled (not that I could have stayed with it anyways). The decision had landed on my lap, and it was finally time to let one door close and hope that another would open.

The outpouring of disappointment from the parents who I've worked with in this role for over 4 years was overwhelming and incredibly touching. It made me sad to think of leaving these kids (and their families!), who'd become so special in my life, behind. But, my role as coach/counselor/program director/confidant and more, had clearly made an impact in the children's lives and it was confirmed to me that I have truly made a positive difference in people's lives.

This "job" that I took almost 5 years ago, after months of frustration job searching in my new city of Atlanta, and created into a brand new endeavor at the organization had become much more than just a "job". It was so much more than I ever could have imagined.

However, while I had been the role model that the children had looked up to, and had guided them to a new world of possibilities, I now knew that I needed to find myself a role model for myself and have the opportunnity to to be opened up to a new world of possibilities.

I've gone through such an incredible range of emotions over the past week, from shock to disappointment to fear to relief to excitement... Yet, experiencing a new emotion, almost daily, has not negated out any of the previous ones.

Just today, I found a few quotes that seem to fit what I'm currently experiencing and are inspiring and reassuring to me that the decision I've made is right for me:

"Why do so many... settle for so little? I don't understand why they're not greedy for what's inside them." - Jack Gilbert

"For every nine people who denounce innovation, only one will encourage it... For every nine people who do things the way they have always been done, only one will wonder if there is a better way. For every nine people who stand in line in front of a locked building, only one will ever come around and check the back door. Our progress as a species rests squarely on the shoulders of the 10th person. The nine are satisfied with things they are told are valuable. Person 10 determines for [her]self what has value." - Za Rinpoche and Ashley Nebelsieck, in The Backdoor to Enlightenment

As I explained to the kids last week, when you have an itch, you know you just have to scratch it. That may be relatively easy if the scratch is on your skin, but if it is in your head, it is a bit more challenging to soothe. But, like an unscratched mosquito bite, an 'unscratched' itch inside your head will make you all but crazy...